What The F*** Do I Actually Want?
Bring one thing you're fed up with. Leave knowing what you want instead, and one small thing you can do about it.
What You’ll Leave with
One situation. A clearer answer. One honest next move.
By the end of our 60 minutes, you'll have worked through a real situation in your life and:
Recognised your usual response. What happened, how you reacted and what might have been driving that response.
Got clearer on what you actually want. Not what you think you should want, or what would keep everyone else happy, but what you want or need in this particular situation.
Identified what gets in the way. What makes it difficult to include yourself in the decision?
Chosen one small action. That might be asking for time to think, expressing a preference, making a request, having a conversation or choosing a different response.
Made a plan to follow through. You'll write down when and how you'll take that next step.
You'll capture your thinking in a simple worksheet called My Next Honest Move, so you have something practical to take away and use.
You don't have to fix everything. You don't even have to have all the answers.
The aim is to leave with a clearer idea of what you want in one situation, and a next step that feels possible.
What We'll Do Together
This isn't an hour of listening to someone tell you how to live your life
You'll be working with a situation from your own life, with guided questions to help you get underneath what's happening and decide what you want to do next.
First, we'll look at what's actually happening
We'll take one situation where you find yourself going along with something, keeping quiet or choosing the easiest option. You'll map what happened and how you responded, so you can see the pattern rather than just telling yourself you should have handled it differently.
Then, we'll ask the more useful question.
Instead of jumping straight to “What should I do?”, you'll explore “What do I actually want?” We'll look at the difference between what you want, what you think you should want and what would cause the least disruption.
Next, we'll make room for you in the decision.
Other people's views can matter without having the final say. You'll explore what has made it difficult to include your own needs or preferences, and what it might look like to give yourself a say in this situation.
Finally, you'll choose your next honest move.
You don't need a grand plan or a complete overhaul. You'll choose one small action, decide when and how you'll take it, and identify what will help you recognise that you've followed through.
You'll leave with your completed My Next Honest Move worksheet and a clearer idea of what you want to do next.
This might be for if...
You regularly say yes when you mean no, because saying no feels harder.
You swallow what you really think, then replay the conversation later and wonder why you didn't speak up.
You take on more than your fair share, hoping someone will notice or appreciate it.
You ask everyone else what you should do because you're not sure you trust your own answer.
You know something needs to change, but you can't quite work out what you actually want instead.
You feel guilty when you consider what you want, especially if it might disappoint someone else.
You want to start making choices that feel more like yours, without turning your whole life upside down.
You don't need to relate to every example. You just need one real situation where you recognise that you've been overriding yourself.
This workshop is not about becoming selfish, saying no to everything or deciding that nobody else's opinion matters. It's about learning to include yourself in a decision, alongside the people and responsibilities you care about.
It's also not about solving every part of your life in an hour. We'll keep the focus on one situation and one manageable next step.
You can start changing things without changing everything
I know from my own experience that a small change in how you respond can begin to shift a situation.
The first time I took a stand and left work on time, I was shaking. But as I did it more often, the dynamic with my boss shifted. There was more appreciation and respect.
That isn't a promise that every situation will respond in the same way. It is an example of what can become possible when you start doing something differently rather than automatically falling into the same response.
This workshop gives you the chance to explore one situation of your own and choose a next step you can actually take.
A Bit About Me
I'm the person behind Vitally Aligned, and I care about helping people reconnect with what they actually want and make choices that reflect it.
Part of why this work matters to me is that I've experienced what it can be like to override yourself. The first time I decided to make a stand and left work on time, I was actually shaking. I also reached a point where I was so fed up with being disrespected that I decided to rent out my house and move into my campervan, then started shaping my life around what brings me joy.
These experiences helped shape how I think about change. It doesn't always start with a dramatic decision. Sometimes it starts with noticing what's happening, giving yourself permission to consider what you want, and taking one small step differently.
That's the approach I'll bring to this workshop: practical questions, honest reflection and space to work out your own answer, rather than someone else telling you what you should do.
You don't have to figure out your whole life before you start
If you're fed up with saying yes when you mean no, putting everyone else first or asking other people what you should do, let's start with one situation.
In 60 minutes, you'll work out what you actually want instead and choose one small thing you can do about it.
